It occurred as quickly because the Detroit Lions have been correctly rested within the fetal place to finish the type of collapse that’s precisely what makes them Detroit Lions.
The official countdown to the Super Bowl (Taylor model).
It’s Taylor Swift’s world, in any case. We simply hear, see, marvel, swoon, scream, and dwell in it. And with Dementia Don’s Errors Tour, it is all dangerous for enterprise.
As if Travis Kelsey’s Daughter did not already give us an excessive amount of, right here comes a narrative straight out of the MAGA universe that is too good to be true and too humorous to be true. Still so. The galaxy’s most delicate orange snowflake is certain by his dependencies, although he does not know who they’re.
Poor Riddle Donald Trump. Bronzer Don’s emotions appear to have been harm.
Also.
If you are questioning what the most important pop star within the universe, the most important recreation on earth, and — with us right here — Prisoner in Waiting Number 38323 / Republican presidential candidate maybe have in widespread, properly. , for instance. Some folks do not tune in to the information they should know on MAGA TV.
Maybe you stumbled throughout it and mistook it for a Saturday Night Live spotlight. If so. no. It’s loopy proper wing media and so they’re lethal critical.
It’s all…
In a world the place silly folks actually are silly, Baltimore quarterback Lamar Jackson defected for the Chiefs within the AFC Championship Game, regardless of profitable large within the playoffs and making some huge cash. I hit him and pretended to be lifeless. Same goes for the NFC and the Lions, who truthfully have been sensible to disrupt the pure order of issues with one thing as outrageous as a Super Bowl berth.
Yes, we’re speaking a few match-fixing Super Bowl. Eagle-eyed viewers have already witnessed the San Francisco 49er star gamers being whisked away to a secret location by his NFL executives. It’s undoubtedly for a debriefing about pitching an enormous recreation.
Why do you ask?
It’s all about President Biden. More particularly, the help he obtained from Taylor and her boyfriend. You know, proper after the match-fixing Super Bowl.
MAGA World requires you to decide on a lane right here. Either Biden is a disease-ridden simpleton who cannot type a whole sentence earlier than collapsing, or he is so pumped up by the adrenaline of fixing the 2020 election that he is someway overshadowed by a massively proficient QB. Either Patrick Mahomes is the evil genius who masterminded the beginning and eventual draft, and sometime he will probably be on this precise place to tug off this huge Super Bowl heist. Because he most likely used the identical energy that was sensible sufficient to search out child Obama in Kenya and alter his beginning certificates to “Hawaii.”
Hey, this rattling leftist is not lacking something.
Of course, identical to the geniuses within the Trump administration are siphoning off Newsmax TV, Biden can get Taylor Swift, Beyoncé, and extra. Trump, they really took the time to counsel — with a straight face — that there was Kid Rock and Ted Nugent.
The Podunk County Fair is analogous, however I digress.
It’s all about Trump. Because that is pure. It’s all the time like that. Just ask him. Let’s be sincere: Judges, porn stars, politicians, pop stars, soccer gamers, legal professionals, legislators, individuals who make nasty legal guidelines, faculty academics, moms, sports activities commissioners, governors, discuss present hosts, and many others. Will anybody be left behind? — Who would not attempt to get this patriotic public servant?
It’s all about jealousy. The actual fact that taylor swift fills a stadium with the snap of his fingers is driving Mr. Crowd-sized and a quarter-filled enviornment loopy. How can she be extra fashionable than the person who practices her private cult?
As if. All Swifties do is purchase and obtain her music, go see motion pictures, go to concert events, observe her on social media and take heed to her each phrase. These are all document numbers.
It’s an enormous deal. Where is the dedication there? Trumpers? That’s dedication, child. Trumpers are keen to place apart widespread sense, the overwhelming proof, and the rulings of Trump judges and swallow essentially the most ridiculous election fraud conspiracy this aspect of a Jean-Claude Van Damme film. And they will not hesitate to search out the closest sacred place of democracy, such because the U.S. Capitol, to invade and desecrate whereas stealing, vandalizing, abusing, and injuring cops. , excrete.
Oh, positive, Trump not often sniffs 50 p.c within the polls that matter, piling up losses in midterm and common elections like quick meals wrappers. But are followers of “Little Miss America” passionate sufficient to danger jail time and dive into shameless stupidity?
I did not assume so.
It’s all about soccer followers. Damn, they only need to play their soccer. Is that an excessive amount of? They don’t need his seven-second shot of a cute pop star whereas listening to Tony Romo beat free security out-of-the-zone packages in a cover-2 protection. They need a snotty close-up of Coach Reid’s frozen mustache. thanks.
It’s all about Travis Kelce. What is his crime towards these MAGA idiots who take the medical recommendation of a brain-dead former Green Bay quarterback at face worth? They date lovely, proficient, profitable, and great ladies and encourage their followers to get the vaccine that would save their lives and the lives of their family members.
It’s all about Taylor Swift. We already knew this a lot. Between information, concert events, followers, affect, and the zeitgeist that comes with nearly proudly owning the world, she’s dwelling her timeless popular culture second. Remember Springsteen’s blues again within the mid-Eighties? On the dual steroids of the web and social media.
And identical to Springsteen, whom the precise envied from afar and longed for approval, Swift turned out to be evil, till she wasn’t. Having realized their classes from The Boss’ expertise, the precise is transferring previous the Christmas rush and heading straight for a campaign of hate and jealousy.
why? Swift is as soon as once more asking her followers to “take a breath!” – Vote.
Listen to MAGA media experiences that Taylor Swift is utilizing soccer gamers for ‘publicity’, all of her £120 (£250 with gold information, awards, glowing critiques, and ruthless money). That’s what I’m doing. Yes, Taylor Swift, who wants the assistance of soccer gamers for reputation and cash in addition to profitable one other Grammy, might be utilizing the NFL. Or is he utilizing her? We obtained misplaced within the ridiculousness of all of it.
During the five-minute phase, the MAGA anchor, who featured in Swift’s blistering assault, kissed the Trump statue 52 occasions. This is greater than 10 occasions per minute. I’ve all the time mentioned, if President Trump’s feedback break into double digits, oh my goodness, our nation is at risk. And positive sufficient, this time the hazard is these rattling children and their rock’n’roll music.
“They’ve gone fully overboard in worshiping this girl,” lamented the person within the go well with. “Whatever they name it…I feel they’re pushing her to be her ‘idol.’ If you look it up within the Bible, it is a sin. ”
That’s proper, a person who’s on one of many networks that focuses solely on Donald Trump’s lies and deceit 24/7 and will get kicked out of the air with only a query to Dear Leader, is a person who worships false idols. I’m fearful.
In different OAN information, irony is lifeless.
Common sense, however, stays an endangered species. Of course, should you imagine that Donald Trump gained an election he clearly misplaced, and also you’re okay with him pissing on our democracy as a result of he is just a little crybaby who cannot stand dropping, then I A good finish who decides pop stars and Super Bowls and elections makes a sure type of sense.
So, should you break it down, in keeping with the intellectually bankrupt remnants of the MAGA motion, the Instant Replay fashion of soccer, the world’s greatest pop stars, who’re by all accounts well mannered, truthful, beneficiant, and devoted. , a particularly proficient girl who’s loving and truthful, goals to destroy the world, remedy the Super Bowl, and defeat the Orange Powerhouse.
unhappy!
MAGAs, you really want to settle down.
(The columnist apologized for his earlier tacky, lazy, unavoidable, compulsory reference to a Taylor Swift tune title, which works one thing like this, however he does not agree with the Taylor Swift take that is within the contract.)・It factors out that there’s a authorized contract associated to over-the-world clauses)
Seriously folks. Shake it off.
— Jack FK Bungert is editor-in-chief of the Vallejo Times-Herald and Vacaville Reporter.